Ok, I know I’m just a cat but hear me out… Getting a cat will make your life so much better!
We are simply great. You don’t need to spend time walking us, we are great at cleaning ourselves, we even do the expensive deratization jobs for you, and we accept payment in treats. What more do you want?
If you’re still not sure whether you need a cat in your life, let me reassure you.
Note: the following content is humorous in nature and is not to be taken 100% seriously.
1. I Don’t Need Much From You…
Let me introduce myself… the name’s Frederick Mittens The Third, even though the missus calls me Freddie. Ugh, so simple, hoomans simply lack creativity!
My friends and I will share some secrets with you about being your cat’s slave, uhm, I mean about having a pet cat, or whatever you call it.
Now hooman, hear me out! This might be the biggest advantage when it comes to owning a cat. We are much lower maintenance when compared to dogs (who would even want a dog, ew).
You need to take a dog out several times a day, train, groom, and play with it… much more than you do with me, a beautiful and distinguished gentlecat.
Cats don’t require much space, many things, or constant attention. We are content with a bit of playtime and some cuddles. I admit that I can easily be entertained with the simplest things, like a box, for example.
Just take a lewk at my buddies being magnificent in their boxes of fame, and not dogs’ boxes of… lame!
2. I Won’t Meow, Unless You Mess Up
My hooman often says: cats will only be loud when they need something, and she’s right. It’s most usually when we are hungry, but once you follow through with our feeding schedule (which btw you set!), you probably won’t be bothered by us again.
Most cats won’t be needy or beg for attention when it’s inconvenient. We are mostly quite independent (I say mostly, because there’s always an exception, like my bro Freddie, ugh…).
However we will be there when you need us. We can also easily entertain ourselves but won’t mind a play session with you every now and then.
My bros and I know our feeding schedules and Anne rarely hears us meow. The only exception is when she sleeps in… then we’re all meowing like a choir because she’s late for breakfast. I mean, what would you do?
3. I’ll Hunt All The Mice (Toy Or Real)
I’m a natural hunter and will keep your house free of rodents, insects, or any type of pest that enters your house. My brothers and I are excellent mousers.
Just the other day a friend called Anne and asked her to “lend” my bro Mikey to him because a mouse got into their pantry. Needless to say, Mikey did a great job at capturing the mouse.
4. We’ll Be Here For A Long Time…
Saying goodbye to your pets is the hardest thing, but cats tend to have long lifespans so you get a lot of time with them. It’s hard for us to part ways with you too, but with a little teamwork, we’ll stay healthy and live a long life!
We live for approximately 20 years, but some cats live even longer. I know these street cats always tell me how my grandad lived for 22 years, but I don’t believe them.
Anne’s parents owned a cat that lived for 18 years. She was present throughout Anne’s entire childhood. I know it because she always says, Missy did this, Missy did that. Ugh, annoying!
5. You’ll Be Less Stressed With A Cat, True Story
Cats are known to reduce stress; our purring has a strong effect on hoomans as it calms them. Just by petting your sweet cat, you get calmer and less stressed. Other than petting, playing with us also helps reduce stress and anxiety.
I know this works for me…*cough* I mean for Anne! We are always there for her, and as there’s plenty of furs to be scratched, I think Anne’s never stressed.
6. We Are Good For Your Heart
Cats are generally good for your health, especially your heart. It is reported that cat owners are at a much lower risk of heart attacks and heart diseases.
There’s even a super smart study some smart hoomans did on Cat ownership and the Risk of Fatal Cardiovascular Diseases. Hoomans who obey cats have a lower risk of heart diseases.
I hope these things on the internet are true, because I love Anne, and if something happened to her, who would buy us those pumpkin treats I love?
7. You Won’t Ever Feel Lonely
Other than yelling at you, your cat will make your life better. It will be your friend and provide you with unconditional love. You’ll never feel lonely when you come home and there’s a furry friend waiting for you to cuddle them.
I know Anne is thrilled when she comes home and there are six of us meowing for food or cuddles.
8. I’ll Show You What Good Playtime Means
You can play various games with your cat. You can play fetch, hide and seek, or even explore your home along with them. You can hide something, an object, or food, somewhere in the house and just sit back and enjoy how your cat turns to Sherlock.
I consider myself the best explorer in the house! There’s not a thing Anne has hidden from me that I couldn’t find.
I don’t think she likes it as much, though, since I broke her antique vase, but I love when she hides treats the most! You should try it too if you get a cat.
9. We Clean Ourselves Pretty Well
We spend most of our time licking and grooming ourselves. There’s not usually much left to do for you. Only sometimes do we get dirty and need your help to get rid of dander and sticky loose hairs.
I know I sometimes get dirty just so that Anne has to groom me. I can just sit back and relax while she makes my fur look magnificent so it matches my personality.
Most of the time, your cat will clean itself efficiently and you won’t have to move a muscle. I believe this is the best part for most owners!
10. We Are The Best Choice Of Pet For Apartments
Cats are the preferred choice of pet for most pet owners who live in an apartment, and I don’t see a problem. We are the best choice of pet for any type of house if you ask me!
We don’t need much space, especially compared to dogs. Even the smallest flat can easily be adjusted to suit our needs.
Just add a few vertical platforms and levels and you’re good to go. Listen when I tell ya, cat to hooman, every cat will love you for this!
Another big plus here is that we use litter boxes, so you don’t need to take us out many times a day (like you know who), which could be problematic in large buildings for lazy people who just sit in front of the computer. Is typing even a real job, Anne? Ugh.
Note: once you get a cat, you’ll hardly stop at just one!
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