You’re having coffee with your best friend, who also has a cat. Her cat follows her around while she’s making the coffee and when she sits down, the cat jumps into her lap and starts cuddling.
Now, you are wondering: ”My cat follows me everywhere but won’t cuddle – am I doing something wrong?”
No, you are not! Our furry friends simply have their own ways! However, if this behavior concerns you then keep on reading to find out why your furry friend might be acting that way.
Your Concern: My Cat Follows Me Everywhere But Won’t Cuddle With Me
We need to break this problem down into two segments:
Why does your cat follow you around? and Why does your cat not want to cuddle?
Tackling this topic in two parts is easier and will give you a more thorough understanding of why your pet behaves this way. Also, this is completely different than a stray cat following you in the streets, which is a topic for another time.
Why Does My Cat Follow Me Everywhere?
A lot of cats follow their owners around the house, no matter whether we are talking about a young cat, adult cat, old cat, male cat or female cat; they all like to follow us. Let’s take a look at some of the reasons for this.
A Cute Reason: Out Of Pure Curiosity
Sometimes, your cat is obviously bored and trying to find some entertainment in whatever you’re doing. For example, when you’re changing bed sheets, it is fun for your cat to jump on the bed and mess around for a bit.
Having your cat following you everywhere can be a cute addition to your indoor cat’s personality – it makes them a family member, part of the household and you can really feel their presence in the home!
Another Cute Reason: Your Cats Wants Attention
Our little feline friends sometimes just crave our attention (does this remind you of anyone in your life, lol?) Meowing is a common sign that your cat wants your presence, as well as following you around. Sometimes, your cat might follow you around and meow at the same time!
Another Cute Reason: They Think Of You As Their Mother?!
Well, not exactly. Your cat knows you’re not its real mother. However, your cat needs someone as their caregiver. This used to be the mother cat, but now it’s you.
You might know that cats knead on their mother to stimulate milk production. Does your cat do the same to you – approach you and start kneading? If the answer is yes, then your cat surely feels like you are its caregiver and guardian, just like their mother was.
You are your pet’s main source of comfort and protection, and this may be one of the reasons your cat follows you.
A Happy Reason: Your Presence Means Playtime
This can be applied to any situation where you’re the main person in the household that actually plays with the kitty. It’s like a kid following their favorite older sibling around, because that sibling is the one that plays with them and gives them attention.
So if your feline friend is following you, there is a chance they just want to play with you, especially if you’re not around often, so your presence is somewhat special to your cat.
A Cheeky Reason: FOOD!
This is to be expected, right? Regular cat food is just not enough – they want treats and bits of your food too! Your cat can follow you everywhere in the hope of getting a bite of food.
This behavior should not be encouraged! Otherwise, you can end up asking yourself: “Why is my cat so chubby?“ Don’t give more food than the cat needs.
A Sad Reason: Separation Anxiety
Your cat loves your company! Some cats love it so much that, when you’re not present, they get upset. On the other hand, some cats don’t experience separation anxiety at all.
For those that are dependent on your presence, whenever you’re not around them for a period of time (a few hours for some cats, and a week for others), they experience separation anxiety.
Some cats will follow you around everywhere in order not to experience the unpleasant feeling of separation anxiety.
Another Sad Reason: Something Can Be Wrong
Your cat might be following you around to try to get your attention because something strange is happening. For example, they are in discomfort or pain and are trying to get you to take care of them in some way.
This happens rarely, but it is worth a mention.
A Boring Reason: It’s What They’re Used To
Domestic cats don’t have a lot of things to do inside. Because of this, they try to find some (strange) things to adopt as parts of their daily routine.
Cats are creatures of routine and they sometimes incorporate following their owners around as a part of their regular activities.
Is It Normal For My Cat To Follow Me Everywhere?
Yes! This is a common characteristic of cats and they actually love doing it. You might like your cat following you as well – it’s like having a little friend around constantly and you are never lonely!
However, it is important to note that there are some cats that will not express this behavior. It’s not that they don’t love you – they just won’t follow you everywhere (they might simply be too lazy).
Either way is completely fine – it is nothing to worry about!
Can I Stop My Cat From Following Me Everywhere?
If you don’t want your cat following you, you can try to stop your feline friend from doing so. We can’t guarantee success, but here are a few things you can try.
1. Give Your Cat Some Toys
Give your cat something better to do! That can mean playing with toys, such as cat trees. Cats are known for loving mental stimulation and physical activity that playing gives them.
For your cat, toys may be an even better idea than following you around.
2. Offer Your Furry Friend Your Attention
Considering that cats often follow their owners because they want attention, owners can be one step ahead and give them attention before they come looking for it. This way, your cat will not ask for your attention later by following you everywhere.
Also, I don’t think you will mind cuddling or playing with your cat for a little bit, right?
3. Try Taking Your Cat To The Vet
This is a good option if your cat has separation anxiety. It is a tricky issue, because there isn’t much you, the owner, can do.
You can ease the intensity of the feeling for a short period of time, but the vet can help your cat long-term.
4. Ignore Your Cat When They Ask For Food
Do not give your cat a snack every time you go to the kitchen or whenever you’re eating yours! Your cat is not actually hungry (as long as you’re giving them regular meals!).
It is important to make your cat realize that they will not get a snack, even if they follow you and give you a sweet gaze. Your cat will eventually realize that snacks can’t be earned by simply following you around everywhere.
Is My Cat Being Clingy Okay?
This question doesn’t have a simple answer.
It is okay because moderate clinginess is quite common and doesn’t mean anything bad.
On the other hand, your cat being overly clingy can be a slight problem for you and your cat, as explained below.
Is There Such A Thing As A Cat Being Too Clingy?
Absolutely yes! Clinginess can be acceptable and even cute for some pet owners, but an uncomfortable issue for others.
A distinction has to be made: an affectionate cat doesn’t have to be a clingy cat. Non-affectionate cats can be really clingy by constantly following you around and asking for your attention, but they don’t want to cuddle.
So, both cats that love cuddling and cats that hate cuddling can be clingy. It depends on you whether you like this behavior or not and whether you want to change it.
For example, a clingy cat can be a dream-cat for one owner, and an annoyance to another…
How Do I Know My Cat Is Too Clingy – To The Point That It Is Not Okay?!
Here are some tale-tell signs of obsessive clinginess, which is not healthy for your cat and can cause issues for you too.
1. If You Can’t Get Things Done
Let’s say you’re trying to work on your laptop or trying to do your laundry, and your cat is trying to get your attention by disrupting you or blocking your view – that is not okay.
2. If You Can’t Walk Normally
When you’re walking around your house and your cat is extremely close to your feet, to the point you’re often tripping over – that’s not a good sign.
3. If Your Cat Becomes Destructive
This is probably the biggest indicator of excessive clinginess. This can be observed, for example, when you close the door of the room you’re in and your cat is left outside. Then, your cat begins scratching on the door and floor, leaving marks and causing damage.
4. If Your Cat Is Constantly Meowing While Following You
Meowing is something you are used to and you may find it sweet, but constant meowing is rather annoying, don’t you think?
Why Doesn’t Your Cat Like To Cuddle?
Let’s get one thing straight – lack of cuddling DOES NOT equal a lack of love!
Every cat has a distinct personality and some are more enthusiastic for cuddles than others. This is perfectly normal.
Below, we will give you a couple of reasons why your cat doesn’t like to cuddle that much.
1. Your Cat Is Simply Not A Cuddly Cat
Your cat might not be affectionate at all. There is no rule that states that all cats absolutely adore cuddling; you just might have a furry friend that doesn’t demonstrate this common cat behavior.
It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with your pet – it’s just your cat’s personality. If you would like your cat to be more cuddly, there are a few things you can do – just continue reading.
2. Your Cat Expresses Love In A Different Way
Body language is a powerful thing. There isn’t just one correct sign of affection. Just like us humans, cats can express their fondness in many different ways besides cuddling. These include:
Rubbing against you
Your cat might be showing you love by rubbing against you. This transfers their scent to you and marks you as theirs.
If your cat licks you sometimes, consider yourself lucky. It is their way of creating a bond with you. They do this with other cats also, and for the same reason!
Purrs accompanied by a relaxed body posture are an adorable sign of affection towards you.
Napping next to you
You can’t fall asleep next to someone you don’t trust, right? The same goes for cats. Sleeping and napping next to us is one way cats show us that they feel comfortable and consider us their protectors.
I am sure all cat lovers find every single one of these behaviors absolutely adorable. And how can we not? They mean our little friends are showing love to us!
3. Your Cat Dislikes Physical Contact
Some cats don’t like to be touched in any way. This can include cuddling, belly rubs, petting, brushes while walking, sleeping very close to you and other similar situations.
Even if you never experienced your cat snuggle into your lap, that doesn’t mean your cat doesn’t love you – remember that.
4. Your Cat May Have Experienced Trauma
Your cat might have experienced something bad in the past while cuddling. Past trauma causes cats to correlate negative feelings with cuddling and they then try to avoid feeling them again by not cuddling at all.
This makes sense of course, but it is a sad reason for your cat to avoid cuddling. Building up trust slowly may help heal some of this trauma.
Does My Cat Not Want To Cuddle With Me?
Yes, this is a possible scenario. You will notice it easily: whenever you try cuddling with your cat, the little furball escapes!
If your feline friend is lying on the couch and you come and try to cuddle but your cat immediately gets up and moves away, that’s a clear sign that your cat doesn’t like cuddling, therefore doesn’t want to cuddle with you (or anyone really).
How Do I Get My Cat To Cuddle With me?
You can try to get your cat to cuddle with you, but success is not guaranteed. The main thing is to start introducing cuddling slowly, so your cat can slowly get used to it and hopefully, start enjoying it.
For example, if your cat is laying close to you, try petting it gently and see how your cat responds. If the response is negative – stop stroking, but if it seems like your cat doesn’t mind – continue for a bit.
Each day, you can increase petting time to the point that your cat comes by itself to cuddle with you!
Why Does My Cat Only Want to Sleep Next To Me And Not Cuddle?
Sorry to say – but this sounds like your pet simply does not like to cuddle. There are a few possible reasons for this, as explained above.
This is unfortunate if you’re the type of cat owner that would love to cuddle with your cat. Getting a new cat is, of course, not the solution. Try either accepting your pet’s personality or getting your little friend used to cuddling slowly, gradually increasing contact and building up trust.
Do Some Cat Breeds Like To Cuddle More Than Others?
The answer is yes! There are cat breeds that are more friendly (and therefore can be more clingy) than others. The most cuddle-loving cat breeds include:
- Siamese Cat
- The Sphynx
- Egyptian Cat
- Abyssinian Cat
- Ragdoll Cat
- Ragamuffin Cat
- Maine Coon
Of course, this is not a rule – you might encounter a cat of one of these species who hates cuddling! However, in general, these are cat breeds known to be extremely loving. For mixed cats there is no data, so this depends on your cat’s personality!
“My cat follows me everywhere but won’t cuddle?!“ We hope this scenario makes sense now. It is usually because your little friend absolutely loves your presence, but isn’t a fan of cuddling.
You know your cat loves you and loves being close to you, despite not wanting to cuddle. This may make you feel sad for a bit, but your feline friend will show you affection in other ways.
It’s important not to force affection. If your cat following you everywhere brings comfort to your cat, and you have no issues with it – so be it!